I'm learning that each person goes at their own rate. Some things I got a long time ago that some people have never consider, while other times the roles are switched around. I'm learning to train myself in not judging people based on what they know at a particular point in time, because, like I said, we all go at our own pace. And just because you go at a faster pace in a certain area doesn't mean that the other person isn't way ahead of you in another area. Take a work situation, for instance. A person of low skill can be willing to learn as much as possible (given they have enough time to learn a few things) and be treated like garbage by his or her boss. The boss may be a Harvard grad, but a cool degree doesn't make up for a lack of patience, poise or plain friendliness. If you're in that Harvard grad's shoes, you may be respected, but nobody likes you. Whereas the low skill person at least has a chance to build upon the skills they are learning. Anyway, I've been thinking how important it is to have a mind and heart that sees more than what is shown. Even with the Harvard grad, that poor person obviously has to treat others with zero dignity to make themselves feel adequate. And they've probably been doing that their whole lives because no one like them because they are bossy, rude and condescending. So, even though their's seems less forgiveable, they still act that way for a reason. Everything people do, they do it for a reason. That's not to condone, but to look deeper and offer an understanding heart. I, of all people need help with this, because I know to look deeper, but it's so easy to get irritated regardless.
Simply stated: people are difficult. Myself included! Oh boy am I! I have found myself on many a lonely night. Why? well, it's a lot easier to go through life avoiding people than befriending them...I mean that not as aquiantances, but as true friends. It's really hard for me, while others, it's really easy. I suppose they trust much more than I do and are less suspicious in general of others' motives.
Anyway, all that to lead up to something that I've been considering even more so. Learning how to deal. With life, with people, with my own sense of expectation! I look back on the last 3 years that I've been out of college-from 25, now 28 years old and wow has it been hell. Oh yes. HELL. Graduated and contract job to contract job. Just started a new one. No benefits-year 3 or 4 now, I can't keep track of that. My point is not to complain about my job as much as it is to say that they have not been fulfilling to me and haven't paid me enough; so yeah, I guess I am complaining ;)
Started a job with the kind of pay I convinced myself I needed in order to live on my own. And what do I find? I want more money already...Want and right now need. If it's not one thing it's another! I believe that the darkest days are over, though. What you say? They are over? Won't there be more dark days in your future? Well yes, but the main thing I learned and gained over this time is the way to cope.
Cope 1 (kōp) v. coped , cop·ing , copes To contend with difficulties with the intent to overcome them.
cope1 verb (used without object) 1. to struggle or deal, especially on fairly even terms or with some degree of success (usually followed by with )
2. to face and deal with responsibilities, problems, or difficulties, especially successfully or in a calm or adequate manner
Now don't get me wrong, I am far from having this down! But in reflecting on circumstances, I realized that I tend to get myself into the same situations. Some not always my fault, others are. But with these impossible situations, there always comes an answer. There always is an out. Even if the out isn't your idea of an out-it's still an out in one form or another I believe. Life's situations aren't going to always be peachy, everybody knows. But the hope that this too shall pass, is always there. Whether or not you realize it at the time of the trial or not. This too shall pass. Adversity comes, it doesn't leave for good; it comes back. But every trial you face you get stronger. And then stronger. To the point where the same thing can happen to you, but it doesn't have the power over your life to let it control your emotions. Yes, I get emotional, it's very difficult not too. Cry it out? that's me...well occasionally. But don't do it for long! Next day, pick yourself up and deal! Calmly! Knowing that this is only for a short time and another will come for another short period of time. And repeat! Until what? Until you place your trust in a loving God who wants you to be wise with your life and you begin to do what seemed painful years ago, to do with ease. It's funny how easy it can be if you just calm down and don't let your emotions get the best of you. I try to remind myself that my problems and tests are common among men and women. We magnify our situation because of course, duh, it's happening to me! It's different when it's happening to me!
I rode the bus for the first time a couple of weeks ago and was furious due to the fact that I thought it was going to be there 30 min earlier and it was really cold out and raining out. Not to mention the 1 1/2 hour ride it would take to get me home amongst these strangers! Until...I heard a nice older gentleman saying he once waited over an hour for his bus and went on about his bus story mishap. I was shocked in how he told the other passenger with calmness and ease. What? an hour of MY valuable time? Sheesh I'm a snob. I still kind of am in regards to that situation, but it made me think of how 2 people can be in the same situation and act completely opposite. I hope that one day I'll be able to be so relaxed as that guy! Or even half as relaxed and I'd be good!
As I sit here and think of the last few years of the difficulties I've experienced, I know that I don't ever have to relive them again and that I can honestly say that this fresh-out-of-college girl has officially paid her dues! Thank God! I'm still paying them persae, but the hardest part happened and now I'm finally looking forward to settling in a career. Even if it's not the one I've always dreamed of, it pays the bills, it will do!
There's still a whole lot for me to learn. And when I say learn, I mean act upon and do. I know I need to do this or shouldn't do that. I need to be strong and learn from past mistakes and not let history repeat itself.
